June 1999

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Sixteen Things to Do on Bloomsday

by Daphne Frostchild


Looking for an alternative way to have fun this Summer? Here's a little-known holiday I'd like to suggest to those bold enough to try: Bloomsday. I know, you've never read James Joyce's Ulysses--you were lucky to get through Hamlet. But Bloomsday, on June 16,
offers some unique, occasionally even mind-bending, celebratory rituals for the stout of heart. I won't even make you read the book to find them out. Here are sixteen ways to join in the festivities.


Prepare a hearty breakfast of kidney for yourself, save some for the cat and feed your spouse in bed.

Read the newspaper while sitting in a port-a-john.

Respond to a personals ad. Encourage the party to believe you are someone other than who you are.

Purchase an erotic novel (written by an author whose name is a double-entendre).

Ogle naked statuary in a local museum.

Go to the library with a cake of lemon-scented soap in your back pocket.

If possible, attend a funeral with some friends. While en route to the cemetery, tell a story about a coffin falling out of a hearse.

Attempt to have lunch in a local eatery; don't let loud munching or querulous old-timers intrude upon your enjoyment of a grilled cheese sandwich and a glass of port wine.

Visit a newspaper office or sell an advertisement.

Visit an obstetrical hospital or a pregnant friend.

Arrange to have Italian language lessons given in your home by someone half your age.

Watch children playing on the beach. If possible, stay for fireworks.

Visit a brothel with some drunken medical students.


Stay up until at least 4 o'clock in the morning, discussing a wide range of topics (including astronomy) with a casual acquaintance for whom you have developed a strange affinity.

Go to sleep nestled like a spoon with your head at your mate's feet.


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