|
Prepare a hearty breakfast of
kidney for yourself, save some for the cat and feed your spouse
in bed. |
Read the newspaper while sitting
in a port-a-john. |
Respond to a personals ad. Encourage
the party to believe you are someone other than who you are. |
Purchase an erotic novel (written
by an author whose name is a double-entendre). |
|
Ogle naked statuary in a local
museum. |
Go to the library with a cake of
lemon-scented soap in your back pocket. |
If possible, attend a funeral with
some friends. While en route to the cemetery, tell a story about
a coffin falling out of a hearse. |
Attempt to have lunch in a local eatery;
don't let loud munching or querulous old-timers intrude upon
your enjoyment of a grilled cheese sandwich and a glass of port
wine. |
|
Visit a newspaper office or sell
an advertisement. |
Visit an obstetrical hospital or a
pregnant friend. |
Arrange to have Italian language
lessons given in your home by someone half your age. |
Watch children playing on the beach.
If possible, stay for fireworks. |
|
Visit a brothel with some drunken
medical students. |
Hallucinate. |
Stay up until at least 4 o'clock in the morning,
discussing a wide range of topics (including astronomy) with
a casual acquaintance for whom you have developed a strange affinity. |
Go to sleep nestled like a spoon
with your head at your mate's feet. |
