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Sixteen
Things to Do on Bloomsday
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 Looking
for an alternative way to have fun this summer?
Here's a little-known holiday I'd like to suggest
to those bold enough to try: Bloomsday.
I
know, you've never read James
Joyce's Ulysses—you were lucky
to get through Hamlet. But Bloomsday, on
June 16, offers some unique, occasionally even mind-bending,
celebratory rituals for the stout of heart. I won't
even make you read the book to find them out.
Here
are sixteen ways to join in the festivities.
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Prepare a hearty
breakfast of kidney for yourself, save
some for the cat and feed your spouse
in bed.
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Read the newspaper
while sitting in a port-a-john.
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Respond to a personals
ad. Encourage the party to believe you
are someone other than who you are.
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Purchase an erotic
novel (written by an author whose name
is a double-entendre).
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Ogle naked statuary
in a local museum.
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Go to the library with
a cake of lemon-scented soap in your back
pocket.
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If possible, attend
a funeral with some friends. While en
route to the cemetery, tell a story about
a coffin falling out of a hearse.
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Attempt to have lunch
in a local eatery; don't let loud munching
or querulous old-timers intrude upon your
enjoyment of a grilled cheese sandwich
and a glass of port wine.
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Visit a newspaper office
or sell an advertisement.
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Visit an obstetrical hospital
or a pregnant friend.
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Arrange to have Italian
language lessons given in your home by
someone half your age.
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Watch children playing
on the beach. If possible, stay for fireworks.
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Visit a brothel with
some drunken medical students.
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Hallucinate.
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Stay up until at least 4 o'clock in
the morning, discussing a wide range of
topics (including astronomy) with a casual
acquaintance for whom you have developed
a strange affinity.
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Go to sleep nestled
like a spoon with your head at your mate's
feet.
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—by
Daphne
Frostchild
Posted
June 12, 2004
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About
the Author
James
Joyce was born in Dublin in 1882, and while he left
Ireland for the Continent as a young man, he used Ireland
as the setting for his short story collection, Dubliners,
as well for his three novels, A Portrait of the
Artist as a Young Man (1916), Ulysses
(1922) and Finnegans Wake (1939). Ulysses
marked the semi-official beginning of the modernist
movement, and while he never enjoyed financial stability,
he was adored by many critics and forward-thinking writers.
He died in Zurich in 1941.
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